The Red Tent

I read a book called The Red Tent by Anita Diamant many years ago. I wasn't too familiar with the Biblical story of Dinah (which it retells from the feminine perspective) but I was reading it for pleasure so I wasn't concerned with detail. When I read the book, I was young and unmarried. I had no idea where my future was headed. It didn't occur to me that I would be 3o and childless. It didn't occur to me that I would be 30. The book describes how women would enter the Red Tent during their menstruation and childbirth, creating a community with and for each other, celebrating their roles as the givers of life. I was amazed as I read the book at how different our society had become. No one talks about "the time of the month" without first referencing Judy Blume it seems. It's socially acceptable to say someone is pregnant but don't start using negative terms like "placenta," or "dilation," or you might actually witness a human squirm like a worm. I also remember that I read this book and thought about how lonely it must have been for Dinah, giving birth with only women around and not having her love, her co-creator, the father of her child, there to witness the arrival. I pictured my future husband being right next to me during labor, at least close enough to hit and blame for all the pain.

But now I am 30. The way I see things has changed. Kids might not be an option for me. At least ones that come from my womb. Nathan may never have the opportunity to get clawed by me during a heated contraction. That's o.k. I still have the joy of teaching children. I have so many kids in my life that I can nurture and love and watch grow. And I have amazing friends who have let me be a part of the tiny lives that thay have made.

Last night, my amazing, strong, too tough for words, glowing Mama Christy welcomed her third son into this world. If you have never had the opportunity to witness that first moment of life... I hope one day you do. Christy chose to do home births with a midwife and a doula, and a birthing pool. Maybe it was just her peaceful vibe that made it happen, but there was an amazing feeling in that birthing room. We all sat around, conversating through contractions. Laughing on the highs and slowly breathing out as she moved with the pains of labor.

The modern day red tent. That is how I felt. Women together. It felt great. It felt right. It felt natural.

I am in awe of her. She is an amazing woman and an even more amazing Mom. I will forever be grateful to her for allowing me the honor of loving her children, from the first moment possible.